The Haven
Healing Centre
-Blagdon
N.Somerset
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| Respite Care for Parents of Children With AutismTake a break from the stresses of Autism Spectrum DisorderParents, you can't expect to do it all on your own. Even a short break can make all the differenceFind help and support when you need it most 
Every parent needs a break now and then, but if you are a parent, caring for a child with an autism spectrum disorder, finding time for yourself, or time to spend with your partner, or children, may be very hard to find. It may even be impossible. It's not unusual for parents of a child with autism to experience ongoing stress, anxiety or depression, and this includes other members of the family too. Because of the additional responsibility, family time and partner time can be severely impacted, as is family finances, social activities, recreation and education, as well as the emotional, physical and mental wellbeing of everyone in the immediate family.Families that understand the need for respite care on a regular basis, who actually plan respite time, and even plan what to do during respite time, find they far more easily maintain a stable relationship with their partner, their other children, their relatives, neighbours and friends, and this goes a long way toward maintaining good health and wellbeing. Don't wait to reach crisis point Waiting until you are exhausted, totally stressed out, or ill, means you've waited too long. Waiting until every moment of every waking day is used up. Waiting until you no longer speak to your partner or have no time for your remaining family, also means you've waited too long. This is moving into the area of crisis management and means everyone is near breaking point. Planned respite care, and planned time off, gives you time to re-energize, gain strength, both mentally and physically, and to see the bigger picture. 
My name's Phil. I know you don't know me yet, but I'm hoping that once you read this page, you will feel confident enough to call me. A short trip around this website will give you an idea of who I am and what I do for my main living. I'm a physical therapist who treats physical problems in the body, such as bad back, knees, shoulders, legs and arms, using Spinal Touch and massage techniques. I'm also a counsellor, working privately with adults and children who have depression, anger issues, self harm issues and worse. I'm a relationship counsellor and often treat couples for physical as well as emotional issues.I have 3 children (between 30 and 11) and have always played an active role in developing their interests, such as cub camp, scouts, chess club, parent governor of the local school (currently 3rd year of 4yr term), rugby team therapist, school outings helper and youth week supporter. So I have lots of experience of working with children from all backgrounds and ages. I have emergency First Aid training and Level 3 training in the treatment and management of injuries by the FA (Football Association). In my spare time, I offer respite care for parents with autistic children who just need a break, providing evening cover, or sleep over cover when required. I'm fully insured for public liability and currently have 4 CRB's for the various activities that involve my work with children, one of which is directly related to my work with an autistic child. 
What's your approach Phil?First of all I listen to you as the parent. Forgive me, but this is initially most likely going to be a list of triggers of your childs disruptive behaviours, their stressors, their likes and dislikes, flash points, their difficulties and issues. This is not a criticism, but it does go to show how much pressure and stress you, as a caring parent, have been living with, often without even realizing. I want to know what makes your child happy. When do they show signs of self confidence and under what circumstances? How do they demonstrate the positive in their lives? Then we cover, what do they like and dislike? What calms them? When do they feel comfortable or uncomfortable? How do they like to celebrate their little successes? Then the more practical things like, what time is teatime, storytime or bedtime? Do they need medication, insulin, or special night routine precautions? All this is carefully planned so that your child's routine is kept as close to normal as possible. It's no good if, after I've gone, there is family disruption because of differences or disparity in the way we approach the same problem or issue. This is about taking away stress, not giving you new stresses. There is no hard and fast rule about this. Each child with an ASD is unique, with different strengths and weaknesses. I do my absolute best to tailor the visit to meet the needs of your child, and your expectations as a parent. It goes without saying, you have ultimate control about how this works, because your involvement and agreement is vital to our success. 
But I wouldn't know what to do with my time offIf that is true, you need it more than anyone! Taking all the responsibility and pressure on your shoulders can leave you isolated and ill. Finding a trusted professional that can occasionally take the strain away, is like taking that huge weight off of your shoulders and easily breathing wonderful fresh air again. Some parents feel it is just too much to ask their families to take on such a burden or to expect other people to understand their experiences. Indeed many times family members shy away because they fear being asked, and this can create family tension and upset. Many parents also feel that 'this is MY problem', 'I'm not palming my child off on someone else', 'he's/she's mine and therefore MY responsibility'. That doing endless washing, preparing 'special' meals, watching the same film for the umpteenth time and having the mindless 'music' on a games machine at full volume, is the price I have to pay to keep my child from freaking out. For many parents, remembering that their child is also coping with the autism, doesn't come into it. Somewhere in the routine and the pain, it's easy to fall into coping strategies and to forget how to have fun together. Taking time out, gives parents the opportunity to take stock and recoup some of the energy they expend as a full time carer. Some ideas: Go to the pictures and enjoy the latest blockbuster. Have a meal with friends or at a pub/restaurant. Play skittles. Sit in a layby with a bag of chips and watch the cars go by. Visit with friends. Visit with family. Talk to your mum/dad. Go dancing. When was the last time you saw a good play, or watched a live football/rugby match? Go to the zoo. The possibilities are endless. How will I pay for this? Many local authorities have a respite care provision. The problem is, many people don't even know they qualify for it. The reason it's not pushed is a.) the cost to the taxpayer, and b.) there are so few people willing to take on children who are a bit different, especially if there are added medical complications. You may qualify for up to 5 hrs a week, and you can sometimes add these up to take a whole day/night 24hr period, once a month. So you can have an evening out, or you can have a night away. This is not income dependent (at least I don't think it is, as it is the autism that triggers the benefit), but if you find your income precludes you from qualifying, then you are free to engage me, as you would in the private sector. 
When this page first went live I got requests from all over the country. Because of distance and travel times, I regretfully have to restrict respite to the following counties: Bath and North East Somerset, North Somerset, City of Bristol, South Gloucestershire (south side), Somerset (north side), Wiltshire (west side).I live in Blagdon. A rough circle around Blagdon encompasses these towns: Weston-Super-Mare, Wells, Frome, Bath, Bristol, Clevedon, Nailsea. I would love to hear from you if you live within these catchment areas. So how does this work? Basically, I invite you to call me so we can set up a meet. Best if I just meet you first. You have to be comfortable with me, and I need to know that I will be able to give you what you need. You can check me out and over, and share what you are looking for in respite care. After briefing me on your childs individual needs (a list is a good idea), you may like to introduce me in a casual way. While most children who are autistic share some characteristics, most do not display the same characteristics, so a clear picture of routines and established patterns ensures continuity of care. This also ensures we maintain the same boundries and limits, and satisfy the criteria of 'sameness', that most autistic children find comforting. Carers for people with autism need respite care. I guarantee you will see a change in the way you feel about your situation. If you are the parent of an autistic child, and you feel you need some time off, call me now to talk about your needs. Take a short break, have a night out, or go for a night away and recharge your batteries. Contact details can be found here: Contact Details. Places are limited because I can only be in one place at one time, so try to give me plenty of notice. Go on, get out and have a ball; you deserve it! Phil. Please share this page with your friends. Thank you.
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